Time

Thinking about long stretches of time with internet access makes a long bus ride a bit more palatable.  I envisioned reading through the library on my Kindle immersing myself in pure escapism, really not grasping the concept of how many pages could be reasonably devoured in the time that stretched before me.  Nonetheless, it was fun planning and dreaming of all the possibilities to pass the time while riding the bus for hours; that is until my friend, my disciplined friend revealed what she was going to do.  She announced that she was going to review and delete or save the hundreds of work-related emails that had accumulated over a short period of time.

 Disbelieving I asked, "You have how many emails, Kim?"

"Hundreds," she replied "I need to clean things up."

I gulped.  She had hundreds.  I had thousands.  I couldn't read. Reading was certainly a guilty pleasure.  I needed to mend my slovenly ways.

One by one I tackled each email.  Why don't I do this daily as the junk rolls in? I am such a procrastinator!  I grumbled internally.

I inhaled slowly and deeply, attempting to infuse patience into every cell of my being.  My pointer finger started to ache with all the action deleting one email after another.  Delete.  Delete. Delete.  It took way too long to tackle a hundred emails.  Don't think about that.  Just do it.  Little by little... Have I always been this impatient?

After a few hours, my eyes averted the 'Select All' button.  It was just too much of a temptation.  Delete.  Delete.  At this rate it will take me more than a week of continuous deletion to clean up this mess!

I was determined.  Delete.  Delete.  I checked the number of emails I had left in my inbox.  I checked the time.  Delete. Delete.  That's it. I have better things to do. I can't do this!

After hours and hours of careful deletion, in one swift action all the emails turned blue and without  much thought I pressed 'Delete.'  A wave of relief swept over me and not the guilt or anxiety that I had anticipated.   I felt free.  Light.

That was two years ago.  I want to feel free and light again.  It is time.