Moving Forward

Day 2 of The Blizzard of 2015; white-out conditions and the trees are bending into submission. The wind is fierce. With all the outside turmoil there is peace within. There is time for the leisurely cup of coffee, time to tackle the “To Do List” and time to write.
For me, any act toward creating something is a wholly spiritual experience. Not surprisingly when I struggle with Faith; I struggle with expressing myself creatively. 
Each day is a gift. Through quiet introspection, I find gratitude and the realization that God has given me everything I need to create. I just have to do it, be open, trust and move forward. 

Money Speaks And Silences

Money speaks and gets people moving. This morning the usual Route 3 commute was halted by a tree. I wish I knew more about how to estimate the age of trees without the tedious task of counting rings. I have a hard enough time counting cups of flour for Sunday waffles. I get distracted. Anyway, back to the tree. It traveled through Ellsworth and took a sharp turn at the head of the island and then to an undisclosed location in Northeast Harbor. Money does talk, but it also protects the privacy of the rich tree owner. 

Privacy in this day and age? It is a refreshing notion indeed; a novelty on such a small island where everyone knows your name and thinks they know all your business whether it's true or not.

The Rescue

The string of excuses are of the typical sort. It is too cold. I'm too tired. Life's much too busy. Whether it is carving time for a walk in the woods, a gentle stroll along The Shore Path, writing or posting to my blog; the excuses line up blocking my way forward like a barbed wire fence. Stranded, I am well aware that something is missing, but I stand facing the obstacle for the longest time convincing myself that it is ok to try again tomorrow. Procrastination is my post-perfectionist ally, or so it seems.

So, my newest ally is my Bullet Journal. It is a system to organize tasks, record long range goals, thoughts, events, books I've read and ideas that inspire and incite action. Today I am writing and later I plan to walk. This journal may be just what I need at this very time in my life; a rescue.

Lessons Learned in Jammies

Today: Day 7 of wearing pajamas all day. Forced. Unplanned. Unwanted. I have better things to do, I think on about Day 3. I'm fed up yearning for a normal routine.

Today, my thinking has shifted. My pace slowed to a peaked internal dialing emerging from stillness. A still and heightened self-awareness brought about by abrupt illness. It seems that my life is a firestorm of uncertainty. This holds all the elements of a solid emotional break-down. With quiet reflection, I know I can only count on this very moment and how I react to it. Right now I perceive each breath, each moment as a gift. As I breathe in compassion and acceptance for myself and others, then breathe out whatever may relieve us all and bring joy. Suffering is a given for all of us.

Sounds a little hokey, huh? Well, I'm going with it. 

Nudges

It is all about trust. I have come to the conclusion that I have not spiritually matured yet into the adult that can let things go and trust. Most of the time, I don't listen or notice the nudging,

Living in a visual world, I have been bombarded lately by blogs on meditation, newspaper magazine inserts exerting the notion that beginning a practice of meditation is the only resolution one needs. It is a resolution that I have made over and over in recent years. There is something intuitively that gnaws at me convincing me that it is something I should do and more pressing something I must do. 

But, I don't. I will. The promise is made, but broken much too easily when it is a pact with myself. So maybe I won't. 

A friend of mine recommended a book. Intuitively, she knew it was just what I need. Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart. The thought provoking messages I have heard before, yet today I hear them anew. This book is my nudge; my nudge to sit without judging myself and others. To begin the practice of meditation to quiet the mind and uncover the authentic woman I become moment by moment.

I'll trust this nudge.

Pieces

Exposed,

I crouch

Picking up

The pieces.

My life

Scattered

And

Broken