Saturday, January 30, 2016
Friday, January 29, 2016
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Bedtime in our house is 10 pm. Truthfully, there are some nights that it is so dark and cold that I barely make it past 8. Teenagers on the other hand have internal clocks suddenly gone haywire. Hearing the beeping of the microwave timer woke me as did the smell of food. 11:30 pm is the perfect time to be eating chili, isn't it? I guess sleeping AND eating habits are wacky. 45 minutes earlier, I had gotten out of bed and reminded that it was way past bedtime. Slipping back under the blankets, I heard my husband mumble that he too had gotten up declaring it bedtime. So I lay in bed wide awake. Annoyed. I tossed and turned for hours.
The dark winter has been kind and gentle to me and my family. Ordinarily the teenagers succumb to the need to hibernate and sleep at night. Last evening was an exception. At least, I am hoping that tonight will be different and we will all be able to get some quality sleep. Since the big pot of chili was prepared ahead for tonighs supper; surely the finicky teen will not be up eating chili until wee hours of the morning. She can't possibly have two consecutive meals eating the same thing. I might just get some sleep especially if she is as tired as I am.
Monday, January 18, 2016
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Friday, January 15, 2016
Food. I love it. The textures. The colors and flavor. Sometimes I spend days anticipating a planned meal. Is it that I am obsessed with food (really now) or that it is the human interactions that are most important? It is nearly impossible to tease this out. For instance, tonight some of my children and their significant others who can are coming for dinner. The shopping list complete, I can hardly wait to push through the door, enter the kitchen and start to chop the vegetables and smell the fragrance of the ginger that will be tucked into pot stickers-perfect little pillows. Tonight will be a perfect combination of people and food I love.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
You can't always get what you want.-The Rolling Stones
After nearly 50 years, I think about the minor inequities in my life; it is not my dwelling place. It is expected that overtime parents do not dole out a measure of evenness among their children. Resources including time, energy and finances contribute to these differences as does the individuality of needs among the children.
My childhood bike was a hand-me-down. Red, clunky and heavy with big fat tires. Everyone else in the neighborhood had new bikes with a banana seat and sissy bars. Shiny, sparkly, with hand breaks and three speeds. I begged for a new bike, but did not get one until I saved up my babysitting money and bought a blue bike from Sears. This inequity did not cause harm, but perhaps a little discomfort.
A couple weeks ago, I crept into my brother's old room in the house I grew up in. There in that room were remnants of childhoods long ago. Among the piles of my brother's books and boxes of photos was my little sister's Raggedy Ann doll. I always wanted one, but it was my sister that got the doll. I always wanted a bike with a banana seat and hand breaks, but again it was my little sister that got the bike.
A reminder from one of my children today about the inequity in her life, unknowingly caused by me has reminded me that a score card does no one good. There was no need for my mother to apologize nor will I apologize either.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
The fearful lurk infecting others with their propaganda. The undying optimist (at least I try to persist with this perspective), I choose hope. Is it irresponsible of me to remain as grounded as I can be for the present moment? My answer is no because the future is influenced by the present. There are periods of time when I do not watch the news. As for reading material, I choose what I read; feeding myself essays, philosophy, memoir and poetry.
Sometimes, glimpses of guilt grip me because I am not an activist, nor do I engage in political discussions because it is divisive. I am reminded of this quote by Gandhi: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.”
On the other hand, it is naive of me to think that anyone's individual decisions or how they choose to conduct themselves on this planet could change the world. However, collectively we have the capability of positively influencing others creating a wave of change. Is that not what hope is?
Last night our youngest announced he intends to enlist in the Army. He wants to be a sniper. He foresees World War III. Has he lost hope?
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Monday, January 11, 2016
Once cars motored along this route, but now the terrain has changed over decades. Water flows in different directions making the road impossible to pass through by car. By foot and over time, I note how the once emptied pond has begun to fill, but not abundantly like last year. When young, my kids would sling their ice skates over their shoulder and walk a mile on this Breakneck Road into the woods just to glide along the expanse of ice. However, on this day the ice is hardly noticeable.
This same walk, day after day, week after week and month after month gives opportunities to record subtle changes over time. The 60 mile per hour winds pounded the down east coast of Maine just shortly after our Sunday morning walk. I wonder how many trees were uprooted or lay splintered, littering the path I walked earlier? On my next walk what will I notice? I hope my eyes will be open in wonder; a witness to changes.