We live in a culture of unspoken rules. There is a set of expectations that define a woman and a mother. Cultural standards may contribute to order and the wellbeing of society, but the rules are often confusing and limiting. I was talking to a friend who admitted to struggling emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. Ordinarily, a very private person, earlier in the day she opened up to a mutual friend who from our perspective is “well put together” and executes life with ease. Outward appearances do not tell the inner truth. Why do women seem so hesitant to unite and support each other in common struggles? The rules are clear, but do not ultimately serve a purpose. For instance, women are to think of others at all times and take care of themselves last. Driven by guilt, for years I put myself last. It didn't work and resulted in extra stress, extra weight and a few more medical bills. Taking care of myself does not come naturally, I have to work at it, yet it gives me the positive energy to ultimately fulfill my responsibilities of caring for others in my roles as mother and teacher. One day self care will be legitimized and society will celebrate the efforts of ordinary women. It will become the expectation of womanhood, as natural as the pull of the tides.