Care

Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it matters.  As if the nourishment of your body in such a simple direct way matters...and it does.  All other wisdom about gathering happiness after loss rests in our ability to bring toward ourselves that which sustains us. Before we can thread together a life that rises in the presence of sorrow we must include loving ourselves through acts of care. When we do we can begin to experience the world as if love and hope and goodness do exist.- Maria Sirois from A Short Course in Happiness After Loss

After a weekend of staring grief in the face, my body is in revolt.  I stayed home from work, fearing that pieces of myself might break off in big hunks as I raced down the hall.  (Use your imagination, otherwise TMI!)  This morning, after some extra rest I  sipped warm water and lemon, drew a hot bath and then anointed my body with oil.  Slowing down moves me inward. This is what I need: Sit with my feelings of sadness and loss to move beyond it.  Sip miso broth and coconut water and seek help with my inner work-pray and meditate throughout the day.

Sirois says that happiness rests in our ability to bring to ourselves what sustains us.  This has continually been a question throughout my life. Nourishing myself spiritually and physically have been key. Specific answers come when I am quiet, open and mindful-trusting that intuitively what resonates is what I need.  This is my role in taking care of myself through my journey with grief and knowing that really despite all the love and kindness offered to me by others,  I must, in kind extend gentle love to myself.  I am enough.