Thursday, May 4, 2017

Preparations for Yet Another

It seems to have happened overnight.  After days of dreary weather, the sun today gives respite from darkness and unending bone-chilling rain that makes the grass appear a vibrant green. Once it grows; it never stops.

My husband was a collector.  We have windows, if you are in need of any window of any shape and  size.  We have lawn mowers (at least I think).  Historically, he had an array of push mowers and ride-ons. Yet the shovels are not yet put away, leaning against the door, while my winter coats still hang on hooks throughout the house, just in case.  I just don't know if I have one working lawn mower. Thoughts of tackling this, just overwhelm me.  I am out of my territory. Meanwhile the grass grows at a furious rate after months of dormancy.

It has been decades since I have pushed a mower.  I am not sure how to start one.  It seems that my anxiety about another change of season and my first spring without my handy husband may have been alleviated had I planned ahead a little bit.  Yet, I need to give myself a break; after all I am carrying the load of two adults.  My schedule opens a bit this weekend.  I will walk the property checking for rocks and sticks that may catch in the mower, but not before I find at least one mower in working order and pray for dry weather.

1 comment:

Mary Ann Reilly said...

The best advice I received after Rob's death was to find a "handyman" who could help with those chores that simply feel too daunting. It has taken me 14 months to do that. I am glad I did though.

The grass will grow (You should see my yard at the moment). Other stuff will happen. Stuff that was beyond the purview of what I know. Sometimes it all gets to me--a physical reminder of the loss. Other times I can laugh. What I try not to do is blame myself.