Sunday, March 8, 2015

The Limitations of Control

Yesterday I viewed my day through a lens of discontent.  Somedays all the strife, struggle and worry in the world runs through my veins like bad blood.  I guess I had forgotten to put my "armor" on.

Today I rose before the sunrise, ate, and prayed. I prayed for understanding and patience.

Visiting my sister who has been gracefully sitting in a recliner for months healing, I am struck by her positive attitude which runs contrary to my dreary outlook of 12 hours ago.  One of my father's favorite replies when someone asked him how he was doing was, "As well as can be expected under the circumstances."  Sometimes that is all we can do.

Today sweeping my brother's floor with the corn cob broom, I notice how the floor shone in the late morning light.  The laundry retrieved from the dryer felt so warm in my arms; the clothes soft and clean. The constancy of my brother's habits listening to NPR this morning over breakfast wraps me in comfort.  Yet, so much has changed over the past year.

My sister knows the limitations of control.  It is all a matter of perspective.  Mine has shifted.   I note the broom, dishes and the laundry,  however mundane keep me in the present.  Fear of change oddly mires me in the past or in the future.  For right now.  I am thankful; grateful for the courage to examine my feelings,  my sometimes warped thoughts surrounded by those who love me unconditionally.



7 comments:

Lynn said...

So nice that you can step back and see how fortunate you are to be in the company of those who love you. And it sounds like you are so good to them, as well.

Janice Ewing said...

I know what you mean about finding pleasure and comfort in small familiar things. It does take a certain mindset to notice them, and I'm glad for you that you were able to turn off the negative voice and enjoy some peaceful moments with your family.

LibraryDragon/Storykeeper said...

Your voice is very song as you write your reflections. Working through your emotions.

travelinma said...

I so appreciate your comments and taking the time to read. That is one of the pleasures that I found today.

Jen Cherry said...

You were so reflective and your voice came through. It's so important to take a step back, breathe, and observe.

Stacey said...

This is so beautiful. I love the way you found comfort in the beauty of the small things and the family you are have beside you.

travelinma said...

Staying mindful of blessings is what keeps me sane. If only I could remain in a constant state of gratitude!