Yesterday I viewed my day through a lens of discontent. Somedays all the strife, struggle and worry in the world runs through my veins like bad blood. I guess I had forgotten to put my "armor" on.
Today I rose before the sunrise, ate, and prayed. I prayed for understanding and patience.
Visiting my sister who has been gracefully sitting in a recliner for months healing, I am struck by her positive attitude which runs contrary to my dreary outlook of 12 hours ago. One of my father's favorite replies when someone asked him how he was doing was, "As well as can be expected under the circumstances." Sometimes that is all we can do.
Today sweeping my brother's floor with the corn cob broom, I notice how the floor shone in the late morning light. The laundry retrieved from the dryer felt so warm in my arms; the clothes soft and clean. The constancy of my brother's habits listening to NPR this morning over breakfast wraps me in comfort. Yet, so much has changed over the past year.
My sister knows the limitations of control. It is all a matter of perspective. Mine has shifted. I note the broom, dishes and the laundry, however mundane keep me in the present. Fear of change oddly mires me in the past or in the future. For right now. I am thankful; grateful for the courage to examine my feelings, my sometimes warped thoughts surrounded by those who love me unconditionally.