Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Dodging and Facing
The wet gravel shifts under-foot making what was to be quiet walk, quite loud, adding to the chatter in my head. I am overwhelmed. Counting on the mental health benefits of movement-I walk. I pray too, while I walk. On this cold, drizzly first day of March, I stuff my hands into my fleece jacket, lower my chin, and raise my shoulders to my ears to buffet against the wind. I walk alone.
His hand slipped into mine and we darted off the sidewalk and into the street to get past the tourists who were walking three by three, shoulder to shoulder making it impossible to walk around them. It was our summer game. How long could we maintain our walking speed without tourists' obstructing our path? And what was the fastest way around them? Together we zigged. We zagged. Sometimes hand in hand and other times we would traverse separate routes to see who would emerge from the crowd first. Heads tipped back, our laughter drifted toward the strangers we left behind; our path clear ahead.
Today I walk alone in fog and heavy drizzle; the rain pools on the side of the road. March means mud. Soon the tourists will return in throngs-that will not change. What will change is that I will dodge the summer masses alone. My husband's rough hand in mine leading me, guiding me, only a memory as I face life's obstacles, without him. I am overwhelmed.