Saturday, April 22, 2017

wooing a girl

He knew how to woo a girl.  A composer and a musician, he wrote me songs and played them for me. In front of our family and friends, while I could barely speak because I was overcome with emotion, this man played his guitar and sang me a song during our wedding ceremony. He also was a cook, a handy dandy fix it man, he cleaned and changed diapers. He fiercely loved his parents, his siblings and his children. He loved the island that he grew up on and had first hand knowledge of all the crooks and crannies and together we would go on wild adventures on mountaintops or sometimes on water.  He would try anything and convince you he knew what he was doing.  He built our first home; he had never built a house before.  Without the ease of electricity, he built it by himself with hand tools.  We were into smaller homes without a mortgage before it was a fashionable thing to do.

Today, I treated myself to a pedicure.  As the attendant was applying lotion and massaging my feet, I choked back tears.  My husband gave me regular foot massages.  Some may characterize me as demanding, but my sweet husband never denied me a foot massage.  Never. Since his passing, it is the daily human touch that I miss most. I am accustomed to daily hugs and kisses.  Now, instead I get morning kisses from my dog Rex and nudges from my sweet cat Charlie, but it isn't the same.

For 37 years I was with a man who woke me with kisses and a variation of,
"Good morning Beautiful.  I love you."  How fortunate that we were partners in this life.  And I was so well loved.

I believe that he continues to love me for how else could I manage?

1 comment:

Mary Ann Reilly said...

The greatest gift is having been well loved. I do believe this sets you up to be well loved again. I too miss Rob's touch. Since he died I have been getting regular pedicures with the massage. Rob was a foot rubber too. And in turn he liked his feet rubbed. He also,played the guitar, was a fix it guy at home, cooked, took equal care of Devon who he fiercely loves, and was sino,y the smartest guy I have ever known in so many eclectic ways. I don't think there are a lot of Rob's or Jerrys out there.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to not have loved Rob as I did and to not have had him love me so much. What would it be like to lose a man you felt indifference to? Would it make this loneliness less so? Then I think about our 28 years together and realize how foolish that would all be. The greatest gift Rob gave me was the capacity to become a better self through love. It is that that most gives me comfort these days.