You can't always get what you want.-The Rolling Stones
After nearly 50 years, I think about the minor inequities in my life; it is not my dwelling place. It is expected that overtime parents do not dole out a measure of evenness among their children. Resources including time, energy and finances contribute to these differences as does the individuality of needs among the children.
My childhood bike was a hand-me-down. Red, clunky and heavy with big fat tires. Everyone else in the neighborhood had new bikes with a banana seat and sissy bars. Shiny, sparkly, with hand breaks and three speeds. I begged for a new bike, but did not get one until I saved up my babysitting money and bought a blue bike from Sears. This inequity did not cause harm, but perhaps a little discomfort.
A couple weeks ago, I crept into my brother's old room in the house I grew up in. There in that room were remnants of childhoods long ago. Among the piles of my brother's books and boxes of photos was my little sister's Raggedy Ann doll. I always wanted one, but it was my sister that got the doll. I always wanted a bike with a banana seat and hand breaks, but again it was my little sister that got the bike.
A reminder from one of my children today about the inequity in her life, unknowingly caused by me has reminded me that a score card does no one good. There was no need for my mother to apologize nor will I apologize either.