Sleepless

It wasn't excitement or hope for the days ahead; at least I didn't think so. I ushered in the New Year, 1 am and likely 2 am. I didn't look at the time-that makes sleeplessness worse. At about 11 I had a cup of tea-no caffeine, but I swear maybe I need a change of glasses or the packaging was mislabeled. It must be the tea, it's caffeinated, I thought. My body tired, my brain wired I was prone trying to discern why sleep alluded me. The new year? I can't be excited, can I? 

For someone who spends time writing about the past; I try not to anticipate the future, but maybe a day or two or a week in advance. Meetings ahead, appointments and meals to plan things like that. It is straightforward and simple. I try to grasp the moment I am in. You know the practice of mindfulness. It is not easy. I know this as I twist and turn my body, adjusting the covers for the perfect combination that will finally settle me into sleep. My mind is on the year ahead. The excitement and anticipation builds much like waiting for a birth.  Yes, I am excited and hopeful for 2016, but also grateful for what I learned about myself in 2015. I'm wondering were you sleepless last night too?