Wednesday, March 2, 2016


            Me at about 12 with my sister.

It is a strange crossroads. That period between the mid-teen years and adulthood, whenever that might be. Most of my children are now officially adults; my youngest son turned 18 just the other day. I can't help but wonder if I prepared them well. They know how to cook pasta, eggs and Mac and Cheese. They do laundry (when they must) and they wash dishes, but do they know how to manuver the medical system with insurance, paperwork and advocacy. Did I give them voice?

Driving my adult son to a doctor's appointment (he does not drive) I reminded myself of his age. Upon arriving at the appointment he checked himself in. Earlier...

Me: Just to warn you, it is likely that there will be paperwork.

Him: Argh! (He says groaning.) How come?

Me:  You have never been to this doctor. I just wanted to warn you because I know how much you love paperwork...This stuff is called adulting.

Him: (Laughs)

Me: Don't you wish you were just out on the deck pushing around your matchboxes around and you suddenly hear me call, 'Come in! Time for supper!'

Him: Ya.  Things were lots easier then.

In silence I think about all that has transpired and I too long for those times when my kids were kids. Adulting is not all that it is cracked up to be. I don't have to tell him a thing because sadly, he has already figured that out.


Crystal Brooks said...

Learning to fill out paperwork for doctors and insurance companies always goes better when mom is your "wingman"! Sounds like you have done a great job teaching your kids to "Adult" I have a favorite image with a dog laying on a blue deck with his legs tucked under saying "I can't adult today. Please don't make me adult today." There is no going back though, it is always forward. Thanks for the reflection.

Lee Ann Spillane said...

Oh how you connected me right to my own experience with my fourteen-year-old! I was running through the lists of things: laundry, cooking, advocating, (driving this spring). I hope I'm teaching my son enough too.

cindaroo42 said...

So glad you were able to reflect and catch this "coming of age" moment for your son.

"Memory of the Heart" said...

What a great moment between mother and son on the cusp of adulthood. 18 is when you accompany them to the doctor's, but no one is asking you any questions: your baby is now an adult. When did that happen? Thank you for sharing a poignant moment.

Unknown said...

Ah,'s cruelest joke! You spend your whole childhood thinking that once you get to being an adult, life will be so much better! Little did you know, that's the best time! When they act like they these responsibilities we put on them now are just us being mean to kids, I try to teach them that we as adults have all kinds of rules and responsibilities!

Medical paperwork and insurance is one that I really hate. I unfortunately have to do it a lot. And my daughter may have to do it a lot too :( I don't look forward to teaching her these ropes.

berries781 said...

ugh, just wrote something and it erased it all!!

Anyway, the gist was that adulting is pretty awful. The joke is that as a kid you think becoming an adult is the answer to everything and it just gives you more work! I try to teach my students that when they whine about the rules and responsibilities we give them and act like it's just us mean adults that give them to the kids while we party all the time.